My Life’s Purpose

Photo by Aaron Burden

Looking Ahead

After being full time at home for ten years, I entered the work force again. At first, it was to help out with finances. During that time, most of our children had started school and the oldest was about ready to go out on her own. Something I began to think about was what I wanted to do next. I knew how quickly time goes by and it wouldn’t be long before all of the kids would move on as adults and be living their own lives. Erik and I never really pinned our hopes and dreams on retirement. When we talked about it, it sounded depressing. We both felt like we would want to continue to be active and working at something.

The one thing I was clear on was that I wanted to do something that would allow me to really help people. The first job I had at that time, I helped a lot and did a lot of good; however, I had no desire to help in the face of so much resistance and that is what I was faced with more than anything else. It was very draining. Then I found myself in therapy; first supporting Erik when he was told his seizures were psychosomatic. There was a lot for him to process through that he never really allowed himself to. It also turned into personal processing for me over Dan’s suicide. I was helped so much by my therapists and so that is what I felt like I would like to do. I wanted to help people like they helped me.

Working Through the Process

Eventually, I began working in Human Resources and I loved the helping part. However, what became clear to me is that you can only truly help someone that wants to be helped. It was so frustrating for me to have these individuals come to me and talk to me about definite concerns but unwilling to make an official complaint, so my hands were tied. Then there was the mandated counseling I had to send employees to if workplace behavior had become a concern. I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to pursue and also realized that a licensed therapist many times works with patients that are mandated there against their will. That didn’t feel fun to me either.

So, as I came home again after Erik’s passing, there was a lot of my own processing and walking through my awakening process that I have had time to consider what I felt my highest life’s path is. When I was going through the difficult relationship I spoke about last time, I came across the “Threat to Survival” album by Shinedown. This album and “Attention Attention” also by Shinedown have helped me immensely to process through, learn and grow through the things I was going through when I found each album.

Recognizing Passion

After I left that relationship, this song attached here is one of the songs that I listened to over and over again. I began to realize that my life’s purpose is as simple as what this song talks about; how do I love… In every moment of every day, I get to choose love, or I get to choose fear, so my goal is always to put my efforts into choosing Love as often as I can.

That is why Holistic Life Coaching appeals so deeply to me. I get to help those people who want to help themselves. That is where it starts. One of the biggest lessons I have been working on myself for awhile now is learning to love and accept myself. I have heard many times that you can’t love anyone else until you first love yourself. That has not been true for me. It has always been easy for me to see the good in others, to be loving and encouraging to them. It has been a conscious effort to talk to myself and treat myself as kindly as I do others.

Now that I know my life’s purpose is as simple as choosing Love as often as I can, it has brought a newfound sense of peace into my life. The more I take the time to not just visit my life’s experiences to see what I can learn and what I could have done better, now I am finally realizing how much it is helping me to go back and acknowledge and sit with all the things I have done right.

A Tip That Has Helped Me:

When a painful memory comes up for me, I take some deep and cleansing breaths and look for the things I did right. I sit in the quiet with them and feel love and gratitude for myself in choosing Love. Even though I have learned to Love myself by loving others first, I can see that I am able to love others better the better I get at loving myself.